What's So Great About Tuesday?

Absolutely nothing. Then only thing that Tuesday has going for it it is that its not Monday. I hate Mondays!

When I was in fourth grade, I was coerced into competing in the impromptu category of the oral language festival. I had no idea what that was, but somebody must have told me I would get candy for doing it. That was the only reason I did anything in those days. In fact, it still is. "Chocolate? I'm in!!!!"

My ten-year-old self didn't discover what she was in for until assigned a topic question - "What is your favorite day of the week, and why?" Then I was told I had five minutes to think about it before giving a ten minute speech in front of three judges. Well five minutes isn't much time for a borderline A.D.D., sugar-starved fourth grader to organize her thoughts. I'm pretty sure I spent the first four minutes and fifty seconds contemplating the merits of Milky Way Bars. Somewhere in those last ten seconds I made a snap decision to spend my ten minutes of fame convincing an audience of three that Tuesdays were the shiznit.

My speech went something like this:

Judge: Rebekah, you may begin.

Me: Lots of people like Saturday because there's no school. Some people love Sunday because of church. Mondays are great if you like school. Fridays are fun because you can stay up late. Thursdays are almost Fridays, so they're okay. Wednesday is like a half-way point, so some people like them too, but not me. I love Tuesday. Tuesday is the day nobody appreciates. It's like Bakersfield. Everybody drives through here to get somewhere else. Just like nobody ever makes Bakersfield their destination, nobody ever looks forward to a Tuesday. I feel sorry for poor Tuesday. It must be the saddest day of the week.

Then there were 9 1/2 minutes of silence while I just stood there smiling and waiting for the timer to run out.

I still have my Participant ribbon, but for the life of me, I can't remember if I ever got my candy.